she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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