I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize