Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
