Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
