when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
