all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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