O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
