what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
