I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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