bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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