you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
