Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize