we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
