So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
