i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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