That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
