Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
