if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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