What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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