So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
