this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
