We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
