Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
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