do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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