He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
