i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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