no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Found the puke drawer
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
