i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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