Don't you send me to vm
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
