Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
