Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
