He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
