call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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