Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
