There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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