Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
