I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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