you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
its liver damage thursday
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
