jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
