Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Still dying that you shit outside
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
