so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
