operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
