I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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