He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
