From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
