She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
