I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you had me at cake vodka
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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