Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
