It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
