Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
