you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
