if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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