her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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