I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
