I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
