**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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